--Thursday, 16 February 2006--

Pulling in the welcome mat
By Scott Bronstein

It's that time of the year when the annual migration starts from the cold weather climates where I used to live. As the temperatures drop and the snow begins to pile up, there are people who suddenly decide it's time to see their old friend Scotty.

I never hear from these people in the middle of August and September. It's not until Jack Frost comes nipping at their toes that I start getting e-mails about how much I am missed and how my friends and family want to see me again. Now, I am not opposed to seeing my friends and family.

But I will readily admit that I am not the best host. While they are coming for a vacation, I still have to get up for work every morning. So when they want to stay out late, I keep checking my watch and wondering when I am going to get any sleep. After all, the BVI isn't Disneyland.

There's not a whole lot going on in terms of entertainment during the day. It's not as if one can go to the beach every day for a solid week and not get a little sick of seeing sand. So that means my visitors generally want to stay out until all hours of the night, then sleep in until it's time to get up for lunch.

While this works for Saturday and the occasional Sunday, it's no good during the week, at least for the host, whose job requires some level of consciousness in the morning. So, as I readied myself for the annual migration, I decided to put together a fun list of activities that my out-of-town visitors could enjoy without needing to have me around.

Plus, I figured that if they were kept busy during the day, they would be less likely to force me to go out at night. Idea number one: Organise a BVI scavenger hunt. Put together a list of items, hand over your car keys, and let your visitors explore the island while collecting interesting items. Even better is to list items that people can't find here.

For example, a Big Mac container and a British pound note. "What, you couldn't find the BVI McDonalds?" You can ask when they return empty-handed. "And no British money, either? I guess you didn't look very hard, then. This is the British Virgin Islands, after all. If you didn't find any British money, you didn't look very hard."

This use of guilt will be instrumental in having your friends spring for dinner later. If that doesn't keep them occupied, you can try... Idea number two: A BVI civics lesson. All you need is a Legislative Council meeting, and another day is taken care of. Drop your guests off in front of LEGCO, and tell them this is the equivalent of Parliament or the U.S. Congress.

Tell them that, inside, decisions will be made that will affect the history of the country. Then make sure they know they have to stay until the end. But if they aren't into politics, they might be into... Idea number three: Exploring the BVI's historical remains.

Okay, some people may refer to them as "junk yards," but where else can you see actual examples of mid-1980s automobiles? Plus, such a tour would give a visitor valuable information about the BVI's society, at least from an automotive standpoint. But, just in case your guests have something against history, you can try... Idea number five: Spending a day on the water.

That's right, for a low price, one can spend the day out in the middle of the Caribbean Seas, hopping from one island to the other. Okay, so technically all they are doing is riding a ferry, but make sure you pitch it to them as an exotic boat trip on a state-of-the-art cruising vessel. They won't know the difference.

Tell them to take a beach towel and to lay out on the deck to get some sun. Once they get out of Road Harbour, they won't even notice the diesel fumes. Finally, if your visitors get seasick, you can always fall back on... Idea number six: the famed BVI rum tasting tour. Okay, so there's only one rum that's produced locally, but your friend's won't know that.

Give them a map of the different "distilleries" on the island. These will really be bars where rum is served, but that won't matter. The key is to send them to Callwood's distillery, which actually produces rum. This lends the tour a measure of authenticity.

The second stop would be Pusser's. At this point, the local rum tasting tour comes to a grinding halt. But a two-stop tour will hardly take up an entire day. So you will have to get creative with the next few stops. The beauty of a wine/beer/scotch/rum tasting tour, however, is that no one remembers anything past the second stop.

So pick any bar and, as long as there's some type of rum involved, your guest will think he's tasting a bit of history. He may leave the island thinking that Mt. Gay is produced at Peg Leg's, but there's nothing really wrong with that, right? Plus, if you do a good enough job of organising the tour, it may occupy two days of your guests' visit, one day for the tour and one day to recover.

And, by the time they can get out of bed, it will be time for them to leave. So that's how I plan to entertain my next group of visitors. After all, I believe it's very important to treat one's guests well when they visit. That's because I have a trip planned to visit some of my friends in August, and I plan on staying out late and sleeping in until noon. And it wouldn't be easy to do that without a place to stay.

Go to this week's Top Stories