As part of efforts to quell festering controversy in the community, government will provide the public with information on a “need-to-know basis” from now on, leaders announced this week.
“Increasingly, residents are clambering to know everything about everything, and then they just disagree and argue,” Premier Dr. Orlando Smith explained during a Monday press conference. “This causes unnecessary stress for everyone, just as it did in the Garden of Eden.”
Under the initiative, which is themed “Better Late than Any Other Time at All,” the public will not be informed about the details of government projects until they are at least 95 percent complete.
“Public projects are a lot like hot dogs,” the premier explained. “Everyone likes to eat them, but deep down nobody really wants to know what they’re made of. ”
Besides helping to ensure that projects are completed quickly, the initiative is expected to lower residents’ blood pressure and make for a friendlier community.
“From now on,” the premier said, “you can think of every project as a big surprise gift!”
No embarrassment
In keeping with the spirit of the initiative, it is being announced now only after it has been under way for more than a year.
During the Monday press conference, Communications and Works Minister Mark Vanterpool explained how he helped pioneer the scheme during the construction of the cruise pier project.
Though ports officials knew about that development’s cost overruns in 2014, they didn’t tell the public until last month.
“If we had told everyone at the time we found out, they might have picketed, or tied themselves to bulldozers, or written letters to the editor,” Mr. Vanterpool said. “At the very least, they would have whined on the blogs.”
The delayed announcement had another advantage as well: It allowed the overruns to be unveiled just days before the “grand opening” of the pier, which is now expected to dominate the news cycle.
“We only got a few days’ worth of bad press about the overruns,” Mr. Vanterpool explained. “And if the media doesn’t give us glowing coverage from now on, we can accuse them of unnecessary negativity.”
Airlift deal
Officials also applied the new tactic to the $7 million airlift agreement with BVI Airways.
The sweetheart deal, which guarantees investors a return of at least 20 percent, would probably have stalled if government had announced it at any time during the negotiations, leaders said.
“People would have been really angry,” Dr. Smith explained. “We didn’t tender the agreement or take any other steps to ensure that taxpayers got value for money: We just signed on the dotted line.”
Now that “it’s too late to complain,” he said, officials have explained the agreement in detail — and even released to the public.
The new airport
Leaders were quick to assure residents that the public will be guaranteed the same “100 percent transparency” after other projects are completed as well.
“In fact, we’re already working with the United Kingdom on a similar approach to building a new airport,” said Deputy Premier Dr. Kedrick Pickering.
Though government has released very little information about the project so far, Dr. Pickering has promised that an information officer will be designated in the future.
“By ‘the future,’ of course, I mean after the project is finished,” Dr. Pickering said.
Earlier attempts at transparency, he added, led only to controversy.
“And that was back when we thought the project would cost $38 million,” he said. “Now that it’s expected to cost up to 10 times that much, I can only imagine what people would say!”
Smaller projects are expected to benefit from the new initiative as well. The Ministry of Education and Culture, for example, is using the approach for the new school year at the Elmore Stoutt High School.
“Yes, the year is scheduled to come on stream in September, but have we hired any new teachers yet?” asked EC Minister Myron Walwyn. “I guess you’ll find out on the first day of school!”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
{fcomment}