After an emergency meeting with elected leaders, Governor John Duncan has launched an inquiry into allegations that a senior member of the National Democratic Party used the “F-word” while speaking to an opposition legislator on Friday.
“I did not take this decision lightly,” Mr. Duncan said after announcing the decision. “But it is clear that the territory cannot move forward until this hugely important question is settled once and for all.”
In an unprecedented show of bipartisanship, elected leaders from both sides of the House of Assembly applauded the announcement.
“The governor is absolutely right,” said First District Representative Andrew Fahie, who has accused NDP member Eileene Parsons of using the obscenity when he approached her on Friday at Farmers Week. “The people need to know the truth about this pressing matter.”
Before last week’s incident, the governor had been considering launching a different inquiry into allegations involving the cruise ship pier, the Sea Cows Bay Harbour Project, and the greenhouses.
But leaders unanimously agreed that those issues should be put on hold for now.
“Sure, people want to know what happened to the millions of taxpayer dollars spent on those projects,” Premier Dr. Orlando Smith said. “But what could be more important than understanding the nuances of a private conversation between two individuals after a Farmers Week ceremony?”
‘F-Gate’
The allegations are indeed serious. After they surfaced early Friday afternoon, all government business immediately ground to a halt as leaders struggled to deal with the crisis that the media has dubbed “F-Gate.”
Several officials gave interviews to the press or posted statements on social media, and the NDP’s radio programme included a lengthy discussion of the issue.
Meanwhile, the United Kingdom sent two warships to Road Harbour to quell any civil unrest that might result from the allegations.
“This is one of the biggest scandals of our time,” said the editor of an online media outlet, adding that he wouldn’t be surprised to see the entire HOA resign en masse. “This is the sort of thing that can change the course of a territory’s history. It’s unprecedented.”
The international media have also joined in the fray, with news teams flooding the VI from as far away as Hong Kong.
The story made the front page of several UK tabloids on Saturday, and the United States television programme 60 Minutes bumped a documentary on starving children in order to kick off a five-part series titled “Profanity in Paradise?”
The inquiry
The governor, however, assured the public that the ongoing media coverage will not influence the coming inquiry, which is set to begin tomorrow.
To ensure impartiality, Mr. Duncan has appointed a retired judge from abroad to head the probe.
“Preliminary evidence suggests that the F-word controversy may be a he-said-she-said matter,” the judge explained during a press conference yesterday. “But we shall depose all potential witnesses with the hope that someone can shed more light on the issue.”
The judge added that anyone who might have heard the exchange is asked to come forward immediately.
“Anonymity will be fully protected,” she promised. “And informers, of course, will have access to the territory’s witness protection programme.”
Several experts are also scheduled to testify during the inquiry. Among them are a team of linguists, who will explore the context in which the “F-word” allegedly was used.
“The commission has noted that there are many words that sound like the ‘F-word,’” the judge said. “The accused could have used another word, such as ‘duck’ or ‘stuck’ or ‘pluck,’ and it was misheard by the honourable representative.”
Going deeper
The judge added that the probe won’t stop with the recent allegation. It also will investigate whether a profane response was justified in light of Mr. Fahie’s recent claim that the current government is the most corrupt in the territory’s history.
“At times, the social and legal prohibitions against profanity can be outweighed by the need to express oneself,” the judge said. “In this instance, it is even possible that ‘dropping the F-bomb’ may have been entirely reasonable.”
She also cautioned that any profanity might not be an isolated incident, but a systemic problem in VI political circles — or even the wider community.
“Do members of this society use this word so often that it’s not even considered wrong? If so, we might find ourselves recommending large-scale change,” the judge said. “In any case, we intend to get to the bottom of this matter as quickly as possible so that the territory can move forward out of this dark time.”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
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