Sweating in style
As the temperature climbs, a Beaconite is thankful for the trade winds that are keeping his house cool and comfortable for now. But if recent trends are to be trusted, this summer will be another hot one. The reporter expects he’ll likely don a silk scarf to protect his skin very soon. After all, if the region is looking down the barrel at the worst effects of climate change, why not suffer in style? Another budding summer accessory in chic residents’ closets is the sombrero. To any reader dubious of the reporter’s fashion sense, he’s got another one for you: metallic sunscreen laced with fibreglass shavings. For the more technologically minded, the Beaconite hasn’t forgotten you either. Did you forget your sunglasses? No worries. Your contacts are already adjusting to the light. That’s right, the reporter’s top-secret sources have leaked the existence of transition contact lenses. He learned of the new technology after being added to a group message of high-ranking officials who wrote of “contacts going dark.” He’s pretty sure they were discussing eye correction, because several laughter and fist-bump emojis followed the message.
Birds on a wire
As the majestic pelicans swooped down across Cane Garden Bay beach like dive bombers gobbling up their prey with precision strikes in the clear turquoise waters, a Beaconite mused on how the House of Assembly’s would-be birds of prey have failed to strike such a gracious pose recently. Days of political tumult began with Premier Natalio “Sowande” Wheatley pouncing to pluck his former deputy, Lorna Smith, out of the choppy waters of the opposition just months after effectively spitting her out of government. That said, the opposition then splintered into a stand-off squawk of blame after National Democratic Party member Myron Walwyn swooped up the support of two members of Ronnie Skelton’s Progressive Virgin Islands Movement so he could soar to the Governor’s Office to oust Mr. Skelton. The same Mr. Skelton floridly declared that plunge to be a political dagger to his heart, while the new opposition leader insisted he had no choice but to take on the role as his predecessor was not flying high enough anymore. The Beaconite wonders if this sudden air war in the House will lead to a nosedive in voter confidence. As a famous limerick states: “A wonderful bird is the pelican. His bill will hold more than his belly can. He can take in his beak enough food for a week. I’m damned if I know how the hell he can.”
A dog’s life
A Beaconite was impressed with the turnout of four-legged contestants at the Humane Society of the BVI’s annual dog show on Sunday. She was even more impressed with how well the junior handlers showed off their pets. It seemed that nearly every category included at least one dog led by a child. Dogs and humans, both young and old, seemed to be having a great time at the event. The reporter, who loves dogs, enjoyed watching the pooches compete in the various categories. But she must admit that she especially enjoyed petting the different four-legged companions when they were outside the arena. She agreed with one participant’s comment that it seemed like a great day out for humans and dogs alike. That sentiment was especially applicable to the handful of participating shelter dogs, each identifiable by an “adopt me” lead. The Beaconite hopes those shelter dogs will find a home soon.
