And the winners are…
The beauty queens have been crowned. The winning troupes have been announced. The Road March champions have taken home their trophy.
Now it’s time for the most coveted awards of the season: Freeman’s Festival Favourites. They are listed in no particular order.
The Undisputed King of Festival was the senior who stood near the stage during several concerts, playing a harmonica and gyrating his pelvis as if it were his last day on earth. In East End, I was glad to see him receive due recognition: St. Lucia soca artist Nicole David invited him up on stage. He needed very little encouragement to take off his shirt and wine like his life depended on it.
The Best Prepared was a middle-aged Festival-goer who wore an umbrella hat and danced wildly in the mud during International Reggae Night in Road Town. At first, several people looked at her strangely. But when it started raining, she got the last laugh: While everyone else ran for cover, she just grinned and kept dancing.
The Coolest Hair goes to the neon-green-and-purple mohawk sported by one attendee. Considering how much time many residents invest in their hairstyles during the season, this award should not be taken lightly.
Parade, tramp
Several superlatives came from the August Monday Parade.
The Biggest Octopus was a no-brainer: It went to the young woman whose costume depicted a marine ecosystem. Besides a seven-foot-tall octopus, the elaborate outfit included waves, leaping dolphins and other sea life.
All of the child mocko jumbies were named Toughest Troupers. At that age, it can’t be easy to spend so many hours in the hot sun — much less on stilts.
“Limping Jack’s” float, which included a cow that he was milking, was the Most Nutritious Parade Entry. Meanwhile, the animal was named the Prettiest Cow in the Parade. However, it was also the Ugliest Cow in the Parade.
The Best Visitors were the St. Thomas Majorettes and the Rising Stars Youth Steel Orchestra, both from the United States Virgin Islands. The groups included talented young people who were welcome additions to this year’s festivities.
Education and Culture Minister Andrew Fahie earned a Politician Mention: Many legislators and election candidates made the rounds at the parade, but he donned a costume that said “good to great” and marched with a troupe.
Premier Ralph O’Neal took second place in this category, because his face was on the Delta Petroleum float, under the company’s signature “Blah, blah, blah” slogan.
Road Town’s Rise and Shine Tramp produced The Most Questionable Nuns. At least one member of a trio wearing nun masks carried a backpack full of a liquid I’m guessing wasn’t water.
Bands
Several performers took honours as well.
The Best New Twist was chutney music, which was entirely new to me. The style mixes soca and traditional Indian music, and I thought Adesh Samaroo and Terry Gajraj were very good at it.
Mr. Gajraj earned an Honorary Doctorate for giving a complicated linguistics lesson about dialects: “Guyanese say duck curry, Trinidadian say curry duck,” he sang. “Duck curry or curry duck: I don’t give a quack!”
Mr. Samaroo proposed the Best Bad Idea with the song “Rum Till I Die.”
Meanwhile, the Guyanese attendees that night were the Most Spirited Fans. Even though it was rainy and attendance was relatively low, you would hardly know it when the performers called out to the Guyanese, who went wild every time.
The same night, soca artist Patch made The Most Difficult Gesture to Describe in a Family Newspaper. The win came when he used the microphone as a prop during his hit song “Pipe,” which consists primarily of the phrase “How Much Inches of Pipe You Want?”
The Latest Performance was put on by Busy Signal. I think. When I left the East End village a little before 3 a.m., he was nowhere in sight. The Most Dedicated Attendees were all those who stuck around for what I’ve heard was a good show.
Plenty of Virgin Islands bands deserve high honours, too. Showtime Band and Xtreme Band tied for Most Tireless: They seemed to pop up everywhere throughout the season, as though they never sleep. And, at their best, both bands rival many of the big-name international artists who performed.
Carrot Bay
Silver Horseshoes go to the two riders who saved the donkey races at the Carrot Bay Cultural Festival. They were the only ones who showed up, and so there was only one race.
Also in Carrot Bay, at-large representative Irene Penn O’Neal won the Golden Fruit for taking part in the lime-and-spoon race — and excelling. She’s fast.
Craig “DJ Trash” Lake was the Most Persistent Commentator, for his efforts to convince men in the crowd to participate in a tug-of-war competition. After much pleading, he was finally successful.
Carrot Bay organisers also pulled the Dirtiest Trick. When the traditional games in the village were over, they told everyone to go back outside the village for more donkey races. But there weren’t any more donkey races, and everyone had to pay to re-enter the village.
I earned the Laziness-is-its-own-Punishment Plaque for missing what I’m told were among the best performances of the Festival season: Kes the Band and Tarrus Riley on Friday and Saturday nights in Carrot Bay.
Coney Island
Last but not least, The Kindest Person of the Festival Season was a Ferris wheel operator at Coney Island. I was taking photos there one night and noticed him waving me over.
Of course, I pretended I didn’t notice, because I assumed he was going to cuss me for taking his photo. Then he called out, “Do you want to go up and get a better shot?”
I did, and he sent me up to the top of the Ferris wheel and let me stay there for a couple minutes, snapping aerial shots of the Festival Village. And then he brought me back down.
And that’s exactly the sort of thing I love about the Festival season: You never know what’s going to happen.