Auctions
As part of efforts to raise revenue during these difficult economic times, government will hold three public auctions in the coming days.
Health facility
Tomorrow at 3 p.m., the public is invited to the auction of a partially completed hospital*.
Located in the heart of scenic Road Town, this seven-floor fixer-upper** is perfect for the discerning investor — or for a resident who wants to take charge of his or her health.
The structure is 99 percent completed***, but the original owner has decided to let it go at a generous price because of a change of plans.
The wall of windows in this tasteful, east-facing building means plenty of natural light comes streaming in at all hours of the day. And the view from the “premier’s tower” at the top is not to be missed.
Because the facility is far too big for a Tortola hospital, the owner can rest assured there will be plenty of space left over after the medical operations have begun. Top floor penthouse, anyone?
Prospective bidders are asked to bring a letter from a psychiatrist stating that they are in their right mind.
The building is open for tours, which serious buyers may take at their own risk while wearing protective gear between 9 a.m. and noon today.
Starting bid: $50 million****
* Hospital will be sold as is. Mechanical, electrical and plumbing materials auctioned separately. Refunds are not possible.
** Government cannot guarantee that it is possible to actually “fix up” the facility without deconstructing it and starting over from scratch.
*** This number is an extremely optimistic wild guess.
**** Buyer assumes all debts associated with the project, which are admittedly pretty much impossible to calculate with any degree of accuracy at this point.
Gardening
Are you tired of purchasing wilted lettuce and brown tomatoes in the grocery store because you have no choice? Your worries are over.
On Saturday at 9 a.m., several large greenhouses* will be auctioned off in Paraquita Bay.
The structures** are a dream come true for the backyard gardener who is ready to take the hobby to the next level***.
Each of these never-been-used facilities will allow for dozens of acres of serious production, with space left over to experiment with those Swedish watermelons you’ve always wanted to plant****.
In a time when food security is increasingly important, what could be a better investment? Just think of it: When the world goes to war and no one else in the Virgin Islands has anything to eat, you’ll be the most popular gardener in the territory.
Besides, there is money to be made exporting tomatoes, cucumbers and other produce around the region.
The buyer is at liberty to use the greenhouses where they are located now or to move them somewhere else *****.
Starting bid: $1 million per greenhouse
* By “greenhouses,” government means large frames covered with cheap clear plastic.
** Greenhouses sold as is. No refunds.
*** Staff to run greenhouses not included.
**** Some fairly extensive weather damage may affect the greenhouses’ ability to function properly.
***** Planning permission not included. Relocation costs will be buyer’s responsibility.
Fixer-uppers
What do you buy for the yachtsman who has everything?
Find out on Sunday, when government auctions off several derelict vessels in Baughers Bay.
The ships are guaranteed* to keep any captain busy for months. This is because they are covered in holes, razor-sharp edges and rust. Yet somehow they all float — at least partially.
What seasoned sailor wouldn’t enjoy undertaking the necessary restoration work?
Public tours of the vessels will not be offered, but the ships can be accessed day and night off the shore at Baughers Bay**.
About a dozen vessels will be auctioned off during the course of the day***. They range from a sailing catamaran to 120-foot shipping barges.
According to unconfirmed news reports, at least one of the ships may come with a live-aboard crewmember****.
Starting bid: $40,000 per ship or $500,000 for all ships*****
* This use of the word “guaranteed” is a figure of speech, not an actual guarantee.
** Buyer enters derelict vessel at own risk, before and after sale.
*** Buyer is responsible for removing derelict vessel within 24 hours of purchase.
**** Small children should not be left alone with live-aboard crewmember.
***** Buyer is responsible for outstanding dockage fees and fines accrued during the years the derelict vessel has been unused. In some cases, these fees may exceed $1 million.