VI reality TV shows
“Devon Osborne, a former press secretary and political candidate, said that in order to promote his career as a musician, he wants to launch a reality television show…”
— The BVI Beacon
Hogan Knows Less and Less
Still recovering from a messy divorce, former pro wrestler Hulk Hogan needs to protect his dwindling funds from the taxman.
So he heads to the Virgin Islands to set up a few international business companies.
He quickly learns that the offshore financial services industry is not as simple as it seems.
At first, Mr. Hogan, who is not known for his intellect, attempts to use his physical prowess to navigate the complex world of offshore incorporation.
He will stop at nothing to get his way — including putting a young accountant in a figure-four in an attempt to avoid declaring the source of his income.
But his tactics get him nowhere. After a month in the territory, he hasn’t managed to set up a single offshore company.
Luckily, Mr. Hogan’s daughter, Brooke, has also tagged along. Though Mr. Hogan finds her “ditzy,” she turns out to be his only hope for understanding financial services.
When she is not hard at work planning a cologne line called Offshore, she learns the ins and outs of the sector while lounging on the beach with handsome, well-heeled men from the territory’s financial firms.
But will the Hulk learn to listen to his daughter? Or will the combined pressure of setting up an offshore company and spying on Brooke’s suitors prove too much, forcing him to learn to navigate the territory’s mental health system instead?
The VI Apprentice
Sometimes a good idea is not enough. On The Virgin Islands Apprentice, would-be entrepreneurs from all walks of life learn this lesson the hard way.
Sixteen contestants compete for Donald Trump’s favour by carrying out a series of business-related tasks in the beautiful Virgin Islands.
But they don’t have it as easy as former contestants who took on a similar challenge in New York. This new season of The Apprentice, in fact, has been described as the most difficult in the show’s history.
At first, the contestants — who are charged with the seemingly simple task of setting up a business in the VI — are bursting with confidence.
“I live on a tiny tropical island near a bunch of palm trees! How hard can it be to start a business?” one of them exclaims in the opening segment. “I’ve lived here all my life.”
Then they apply for trade licences. Two months later, none of them has received a response, and tensions start to run high.
Eventually, however, the contestants with family and friends in high places start to see progress, as they call in favours from government ministers and public servants.
But it becomes clear that even the most connected contenders often lack the patience necessary to start a business in the VI.
One contestant dissolves into tears as he calls trade officials for the 24th time.
Another loses her cool and screams obscenities when a Labour official chupses at a routine request.
A third vandalises the Immigration Department after his first employee is turned away at the airport.
For contestants who can’t handle the red tape, Mr. Trump has two words: “You’re fired.”
In the end, only two contestants remain. One of them is the niece of a government minister, but she often struggles to control her vicious temper. The other has no family connections, but he possesses the patience of Job.
Only one will win a lucrative contract to manage Pusser’s for a year.
The Amazing Race, VI
Past participants in the Amazing Race competition have crossed jungles and deserts as they raced around the world.
But the reality show’s newest season will pose far more fearsome challenges as contestants try to circumnavigate the Virgin Islands.
First, they have to get there. Most fly in to the Terrance B. Lettsome International Airport or take a ferry from St. Thomas.
Each option has its hazards. Several competitors find themselves marooned for a night in St. Thomas after realising that the published ferry schedules have no relation to reality. Others are stranded in Puerto Rico when LIAT flights are cancelled.
When they finally arrive, their celebrations are short-lived. Only the most obsequious make it past immigration.
Dozens are sent packing when immigration officers decide their participation in a television show constitutes “work,” and thus forbid their entry without a roundtrip ticket back to their point of departure.
Other contenders are detained for days because their police certificates lack a seal.
For the few savvy travellers who do complete the entry process, the challenges have only just begun: They then must circumnavigate Tortola, Virgin Gorda, Anegada and Jost Van Dyke.
Since taxis are far too expensive, they are left at the mercy of the territory’s public transportation system. So they spend hours at bus stops. They walk. They hitchhike. They swim. They try to comprehend incomprehensible ferry schedules.
They are determined, but will any of them actually complete the journey and win a day sail at The Moorings?