Some 300 employees of Rosewood Little Dix Bay resort will be laid off on May 1, but they need not worry.
Each will receive a gift basket that resort managers said will prepare them for their coming transition.
“At $18.73 per basket, this is a huge expense for the resort, but we decided that it was the right thing to do,” a manager said during a press conference held to announce the unprecedented “Going Away Giveaway.” “We’re doing this because we care about our workers.”
The gesture, which has been hailed as a landmark in corporate responsibility, was lauded by government officials and resort employees alike.
“When I learned in January that they’re shutting down for 18 months, I couldn’t help suspecting a corporate trick designed to minimise the owners’ liability for benefits like pensions,” said a 27-year veteran employee. “How wrong I was: Little Dix Bay clearly has our best interest at heart!”
Illogical fears
The resort’s owners conceived the unconventional plan after learning that several employees regard losing their job as a serious problem.
“Such fears are of course illogical: Millions of people are unemployed around the world, and 300 more is not a huge deal if you look at the bigger picture,” the manager said. “But business is not always about logic: It’s also about empathy and caring.”
Each gift basket will contain a “Survival Kit” designed to ease the former employees’ transition into another job.
“Perhaps the most important item is a small box of tissues so that former employees can wipe away their tears,” the manager said. “They are packaged in a convenient travel kit to accommodate anyone who is forced to leave the territory to find work.”
The baskets will also include a vial of genuine sand from the Little Dix Bay beach.
“This will serve as a keepsake to remind employees of their wonderful years at the resort, where they are unlikely to be rehired,” the manager explained.
Piggy banks
Also in the basket will be a plastic piggy bank filled with 25 pennies.
“We recognise that this monetary contribution is not required in the Labour Code, but we didn’t want anyone to leave with no savings,” the manager explained. “This will get them through any tough times and help them start a savings plan that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.”
Food will be included as well: When filling the baskets, managers plan to take advantage of Rite Way’s three-for-99-cents deal on oranges.
“We’ll include one of the fruits in each basket,” the manager said. “And if we’re able to find a good bargain on chocolate bars, we might include one of those as well.”
The finishing touch — which managers described as the cornerstone of the gift initiative — is a mug emblazoned with an inspirational quote: “Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it.”
“We want our employees to be reassured that the resort closure was not their fault,” the manager said. “What’s important now is how they deal with the setback. That’s life!”
The resort is hoping to present the baskets to all employees, but the manager admitted that cost constraints mean that a few lower-level workers could get left out.
“At first, we were a little worried about the possible shortfall,” she said. “But then we realised that because of the family-like bond fostered among our staff by our skilled managers, we can rest assured that employees who do receive the baskets will share with any who don’t.”
She added that the resort would gladly consider accepting sponsorships from local businesses to ensure that the baskets “make our employees’ wildest dreams come true.”
Jubilation
Resort employees said they’re extremely gratified for the kind gesture, which many described as a lifeline that will save them from ruin.
A cleaner said she is particularly excited to go home and share her orange with her four children.
“And to think I was worried I wouldn’t be able to put food on the table,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “Thank you, Little Dix Bay.”
Employees agreed that the gift baskets represent the sort of corporate responsibility that Laurance Rockefeller had in mind when he established the resort in the 1960s.
“He’s definitely looking down on us from heaven and smiling,” said a bartender. “And with a gift basket under my arm, I’ll be smiling too.”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
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