Mould Studies coming soon
In its latest effort to localise the education curriculum, government will offer a Mould Studies Programme in public schools starting in the fall.
The initiative, which is modeled after new courses in financial services and tourism, will expose students to an important topic in the Virgin Islands, officials said this week.
It will also save the government millions of dollars.
“Several schools are plagued with mould, which is very difficult to eradicate,” said Education and Culture Minister Myron Walwyn. “So instead of spending taxpayer dollars on remediation, we decided to think outside the box.”
Starting in September, pilot sessions will be offered at Isabella Morris Primary School, which recently closed due to mould, and Elmore Stoutt High School, which has been mouldy for years.
Three options
Participants will have three options, each of which is designed to prepare them for life after graduation.
Academically gifted students will pursue the “Pure Biology” track, which will be headed by a science teacher.
“There is much to learn: For example, why do mould spores flourish in one school and not another?” the teacher said. “Why does mould stink? Why does it feel slippery?”
While such questions may seem purely academic, the teacher stressed that they could lead to important discoveries.
“Penicillin was discovered through experiments with mould,” she said. “So who knows? One of our students might discover a cure for cancer.”
She was quick to downplay such expectations, however, adding that students are most likely to learn “a whole lot about asthma and other respiratory diseases.”
Any of these lessons, however, would be invaluable for a future doctor or biologist, according to Mr. Walwyn.
“Students who complete this track of Mould Studies will be positioned to go on to a university and earn a higher degree in biology — and then perhaps proceed to medical school,” he said.
Practical research
The second track of the Mould Studies Programme will focus on the culinary arts, preparing students to work in the hospitality sector.
“Participants will learn the practical applications of mould in the kitchen,” said the chef who is overseeing the “Mouldy Food” track. “Sadly, many people don’t realise the prevalence of mould in the meals we eat every day.”
Mushrooms, he pointed out, are “basically just a fancy form of mould.”
Participating students will use the moist areas of their school buildings to cultivate a variety of edible fungi.
“Everything from shitake to truffles areeasy to grow once you know how to go about it,” the chef explained. “In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are already edible mushrooms growing in several schools.”
The chef has set a personal goal to turn the VI into the “portabella capital of the Caribbean” in the next five years.
And mushrooms are just the beginning.
“You know why blue cheese is blue, right?” he asked. “Because it’s mouldy. So we’ll be making that, too.”
Technical track
The programme’s third track will focus on technical skills.
“Enrollees will apprentice with local mould-removal companies in a series of internships,” Mr. Walwyn said. “When they graduate, they’ll be ready to join the fight against unwanted growth in leaky buildings around the world.”
VI government facilities are an ideal training ground, said the technician hired to spearhead the “Mouldy Jobs” track.
“It’s rare anywhere in the world to see the level of neglect that enables mould to flourish in the Central Administration Building and certain primary schools in the territory,” the technician explained.
Students who complete the technical track should be able to find work easily upon graduation, according to Mr. Walwyn.
“There are literally dozens of government buildings that need major remediation,” he said. “And that doesn’t even include the private sector.”
Enthusiasm
Education officials expect an enthusiastic response to the programme, and they intend to be “extremely selective” when choosing participants, Mr. Walwyn said.
Though some parents and teachers expressed concerns about students’ health, programme organisers sought to reassure them: Participants who develop respiratory problems will be able to volunteer as patients or research subjects.
“Soon, we plan to launch a pre-med track for students who want to learn to treat mould-related diseases,” the minister explained. “This is yet another rapidly growing sector of the VI economy. No child will be left behind — even if he or she has severe asthma.”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
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