Faced with increasingly negative publicity from the international media, the Virgin Islands government has hired two native-born megastars to serve as the face of the territory’s financial services industry.
In the coming months, Iyaz and Melanie Amaro — VI artists who hit the big-time in recent years — will release several songs designed to restore the sector’s former glory, officials said.
“The international media have misrepresented financial services as a den of criminality,” Premier Dr. Orlando Smith said this week. “Iyaz and Melanie will show the world that the sector is transparent, law-abiding — and, above all, sexy.”
The territory has been branded as a “tax haven” primarily because it is misunderstood, Dr. Smith added.
“Because we’re a tiny nation, no one listens to us when we try to explain the truth,” he said. “But people will listen to Iyaz and Melanie.”
Positive message
The initiative will start next month, when Ms. Amaro is scheduled to roll out an album that explains financial services in layman’s terms.
The first song, which is about 23 minutes long, recounts the history of the VI sector in detail.
“In 1984,” it begins. “There was cause for celebration: The US shut the door on double taxation!”
The verse leads into a sultry chorus:
“Baby, don’t be nervous:
We’re gonna have some fun!
I’m gonna teach you each financial service —
one by one.”
The year-by-year history that follows includes a guest appearance by Iyaz, whose fast-paced rap interlude explains the complexities of the Securities and Investment Business Act.
Officials said they are confident that the performers’ charisma will make the song a worldwide hit, in spite of “a little unavoidable technical jargon.”
“Melanie will make people want to understand financial services,” Dr. Smith said. “And then they’ll want to get involved.”
Business company
The next song on Ms. Amaro’s album will help them do just that: It is a step-by-step guide to setting up an International Business Company in the VI.
A reinterpretation of the Jackson Five’s “ABC,” the song begins: “An IBC: It’s as easy as one, two three! As simple as do, re, mi!”
In other songs, Ms. Amaro will seek to refute common misconceptions about the industry.
The R&B number “One in a Billion,” for example, challenges the erroneous belief that VI structures are used primarily for nefarious purposes, officials said.
“You’re one in a billion,” Ms. Amaro croons on the track, which tells the story of a crime boss serving 20 years in prison for using a VI structure to run a Ponzi scheme.
“The song shows what happens if you use the VI to break a law: You go to prison,” Dr. Smith said. “And it stresses that the vast majority of people who use the structures are upstanding citizens.”
On the offensive
Meanwhile, Iyaz’s album will go on the offensive. The Carrot Bay native’s no-holds-barred raps will aggressively target media outlets that VI leaders believe have unfairly damaged the territory’s reputation.
The album will open with a remix of the megahit “Replay” that focuses on a United Kingdom-based newspaper:
“The Guardian is a melody
in my head
that I can’t keep out.
Got me singing, like:
‘Lies, lies, lies every day!’
It’s like my iPod’s stuck on replay!”
The album’s next song, a hip-hop remake of the 1970s disco hit “YMCA,” slams the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, a non-profit organisation that recently published a series titled “Secrecy for Sale.”
“It sucks to work at the ICIJ,” Iyaz sings. “And so they get to feeling so blue, they have to pick on you!”
The rap “Data” continues the attack, calling for the ICIJ to reveal the source of 2.5 million files taken from two VI trust companies.
“For you, the files were golden,” Iyaz raps. “But you never asked if they were stolen!”
Videos and tour
Both albums will be accompanied by a series of music videos that officials hope will air around the world.
Each will feature cameo appearances by Dr. Smith, who will be depicted as a caped crusader foiling bad buys who wish to use offshore financial centres for nefarious purposes.
“The role was a little out of character for me,” the premier admitted. “But in the end I really got into it.”
After the albums are released, Iyaz and Ms. Amaro will go on tour together. They are expected to perform for millions of people in major cities around the world — joined, on occasion, by Financial Services Commission mascots Ace the Ant and Greta the Grasshopper.
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
{fcomment}