Legislators who attended a student debate last week were so impressed that they have asked the young contestants for advice in refining their own oratory.
Throughout the debate between Elmore Stoutt High School and Bregado Flax Educational Centre, several legislators furiously took notes.
They had good reason.
The students were skilled debaters: Polite but assertive, they relied on careful research as they made their points clearly and eloquently.
The legislators had never heard anything like it.
“I’m absolutely speechless,” said Deputy Premier Dr. Kedrick Pickering, who proceeded to talk for several minutes before being interrupted by Third District Representative Julian Fraser.
“I was amazed by the students’ respectful manner while their opponents were speaking,” Mr. Fraser said. “At no time did they make faces, talk under their breath, or even guffaw.”
Even more surprising, the politeness appeared to work, he said, adding that the students even showed respect to the moderator.
“That was the biggest revelation for me,” Mr. Fraser added. “In the House of Assembly, the Speaker of the House is our moderator, and I always thought a debate was never really under way until she threatened to throw me out. I see now that I was mistaken.”
Brevity
For his part, Communications and Works Minister Mark Vanterpool said he was “astounded, amazed, impressed, floored, dumbfounded, astonished, surprised and inspired” by the brevity of the students’ arguments.
“It was fascinating how they managed to stay on topic,” he said. “I’ve been a representative for years, during which time I’ve done countless things for my people, ranging from new roads to piers to parks and so on — not to mention sewerage works, which of course have been delayed but will be completed sometime tomorrow — and I had never even considered keeping HOA debates short and sweet.”
Premier Dr. Orlando Smith noted the students’ elocution.
“They spoke incredibly clearly, as though they were all members of Toastmasters,” he said. “You could understand every [unintelligible], and their [unintelligible] and [unintelligible] was great.”
Andrew Fahie (R-D1) was most impressed by the fact that the debaters cited facts in their speeches.
“Their speeches actually contained — how would you say it? — content,” he said, shaking his head. “Who could have imagined that?”
Advice
After the debate, legislators crowded around the students seeking advice.
“I’m interested in how to win, well— oh, let’s just say an election debate,” Education and Culture Minister Myron Walwyn was explaining to one youth. “Say, for instance, that you were coming to the end of your term in office and you wanted to keep your seat, what would you say to people?”
The young people were quick to caution the leaders that good debating is not easy.
“It takes hours and hours of careful research and preparation,” explained a young woman, causing some legislators to pale.
“Really?” asked Mr. Fahie after a long pause.
“Yes, sir,” the student replied. “Tonight would not have been possible without weeks of practice.”
“Isn’t there an easier way?” chimed in Health and Social Development Minister Ronnie Skelton.
“No, sir,” the student replied. “Afraid not.”
Though Mr. Vanterpool admitted that at first he was sceptical of such “newfangled methods,” he said he is now willing to try them out.
“For the students to educate themselves about the debate topics beforehand is really outside-the-box,” he said. “Something like that has never been attempted in the HOA.”
In the past, legislators have instead used a very different debating technique, known in technical terms as “bloviation.”
But that might change that in the future: In the coming weeks, the students have promised to take lawmakers under their wing and teach them a thing or two about public speaking.
“If they’re willing to commit, I think we can make some progress,” said an ESHS junior. “But it’s going to take lots of practice and plenty of hard work. And given the starting point, the going could be very, very slow.”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
{fcomment}