After decades of starting Christmas festivities earlier and earlier each year, the Virgin Islands is poised to begin observing the holiday year-round.
The news has thrilled leaders, business owners and other residents, many of whom have been part of a recent grassroots effort to extend this year’s celebration indefinitely.
“Finally!” said a Road Town woman. “I love being bombarded with ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ every time I walk into a store. Those songs get in your head like worms, and I absolutely love it.”
Now, however, she only gets to hear such songs for about three months of the year, and other holiday traditions are even more ephemeral.
“I can’t wear my bright red holiday outfits until late October,” she said, “and I don’t put up my decorations until the start of November, when Christmas trees finally go on sale.”
The woman is among hundreds who plan to celebrate 2015 Christmas starting on Jan. 1.
Several businesses are on board as well.
“For the first time, we’re not even going to take down our holiday decorations,” said a Road Town grocer. “And all the other stores are doing the same thing.”
They reached the decision, he said, upon realising how much everyone loves the holiday — and how much they buy during it.
“In the United States, businesses are limited by Thanksgiving, when they have to display dried corncobs and cardboard turkeys,” he said. “But we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here, so the sky’s the limit.”
Benefits
Residents touted various benefits to celebrating Christmas year-round.
“For starters, I won’t have to buy a new tree every year,” said a West End man. “Instead, I’ll just plant a live one in my living room and leave it decorated all the time.”
Government leaders were quick to come on board, expressing hopes that a perpetual Christmas will boost the economy.
“The increased gift exchanges that come with daily festivities will certainly help retail businesses,” Premier Dr. Orlando Smith posted on Facebook. “By my calculations, this could boost the GDP by some 365 percent.”
Opposition member Julian Fraser grumbled that he hopes the change will mean that “the government will put petty contracts under the tree every day,” but ultimately even he supported the idea.
“If the government doesn’t ruin it somehow,” he said grudgingly, “I expect it will succeed.”
The economy
Tourism stakeholders were similarly excited, with some suggesting changing the territory’s slogan from “Nature’s Little Secrets” to “Nature’s Little Christmas Capital of the Whole World.”
And in the financial services sector, insiders said the move will create positive publicity for an industry whose delicate reputation has been repeatedly attacked in recent years.
“No international standard of integrity is better respected than Santa’s ‘Naughty or Nice List,’” a fund manager explained. “We’ll be known as the best regulated jurisdiction anywhere.”
Dr. Smith added that the territory is in negotiations with Mr. Claus to visit at least once a month.
“He’s very busy making toys, but he likes the idea so much that he’s considering expanding his operation,” Dr. Smith said. “He might even relocate his workshop to the Prospect Reef Resort, which would bring a much-needed investment.”
Soon, he added, the territory may well be an example for the rest of the world.
“By this time next year, it wouldn’t surprise me to see the entire globe celebrating Christmas 365 days a year,” the premier said. “And we would have started it all.”
Jesus’ birthday
Church leaders pointed out that the extended celebration make sense from a religious perspective as well.
“Historically, there is much confusion regarding the actual birthday of Jesus,” said a preacher. “By celebrating every day, we can be sure not to miss it.”
Though some residents expressed concern about funding daily gifts, business owners assured them that small “tokens of appreciation” would suffice.
“One or two presents of about $50 or $60 each should be enough,” said a clothier. “No one should feel the need to break the bank.”
One elderly woman even suggested that the Christmas message of love and caring could be extended year-round. More practical-minded residents, however, were quick to veto such idealism as unrealistic.
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
{fcomment}