A driver found a parking space within five minutes of arriving in Road Town yesterday morning, shocking the territory and sparking hopes of a golden age of transportation in the capital city.
“It was crazy: I drove into town during rush hour and found an open spot immediately,” the driver told sceptical reporters gathered around the Mill Mall parking space shortly after his startling accomplishment. “I didn’t have to circle; I didn’t have to sit in traffic for half an hour; I didn’t get cussed out. I didn’t even have to pay!”
At first, few people believed the seemingly outlandish claim. But several witnesses backed up the driver’s account.
“I was right behind him the whole time, and I had my eye on the same spot when that *&%# moved in and took it!” said one woman, who subsequently parked inside Best of British in a fit of rage. “I’d been driving around town for nearly two hours!”
Several pedestrians also confirmed the man’s achievement, which he documented on Facebook, drawing surprised responses.
“If this isn’t a hoax, I have a new hero!” wrote one Facebook user. “Sir, will you help me find a space?”
Politics
Legislators were quick to tout the man’s success as evidence of their good leadership over the past three and a half years.
“I have no doubt that our sound transportation policies led to the driver finding a space today,” Communications and Works Minister Mark Vanterpool announced during an impromptu press conference held to honour the driver.
Asked for details, Mr. Vanterpool listed three such policies: “giving a hand up, not a hand out;” “moving from strength to strength;” and “thinking outside the box.”
He didn’t mention any of the experts’ recommendations that have been largely ignored by successive administrations over the years, such as building park-and-ride facilities; requiring new developments to include adequate parking; and improving public transportation on Tortola.
Driver error
Other leaders stressed that the parking problems cannot be solved by government alone.
“Much, if not all, of the problem can be attributed to driver error,” explained a senior public officer, who said she has no problem parking in her reserved space in front of the Central Administration Building. “Many people don’t want to park their cars in available spaces: They all want to park near to their destination. Well, sometimes it doesn’t work like that: You might need to just park on a sidewalk or somebody’s lawn and start walking.”
Because the successful driver has set an example for others to follow, she said, government might hire him to teach his parking skills in the near future.
“If one driver can find a spot easily, then why can’t everyone?” she asked.
Mr. Vanterpool agreed, adding that he never has any problem finding a parking space in the capital.
“I just swipe a card, and the gate at the House of Assembly opens and I drive inside and park,” he said. “All it takes is a little ingenuity.”
Scepticism
Other leaders weren’t so quick to herald the news as a positive sign.
“The successful parking yesterday — if it was in fact a bona fide success — could be one more indication of a crumbling economy,” said Virgin Islands Party Chairman Julian Fraser. “Perhaps fewer cars are coming into town nowadays because so many people have left the islands for greener economic pastures.”
Mr. Fraser also took the opportunity to remind the public of the success of the traffic lights that his previous administration installed at the roundabout.
“Unfortunately, no one was willing to come on board, and we had to take them down,” he said. “Too often, drivers fear change.”
Be that as it may, many residents are optimistic about the future of parking in Road Town.
“If that man can find a space, then I can too,” said a driver who estimated that he spends an hour every morning trying to park. “And when I do, I’m never moving my jeep again!”
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