BTW: LOL, VI
I’ve never been a big fan of text messages or Internet chatrooms.
Thus, until recently, the language known as “textese” remained very mysterious to me.
Sure, I knew the basics: LOL means “laugh out loud;” BTW is “by the way;” and OMG stands for “oh my God.” But I’d never heard of more obscure acronyms such as POTATO (person over 30 acting 21); RUMCYMHMD (are you on medication, ’cause you must have missed a dose?); or even S (smile).
Since I’m far too young to become a fuddy-duddy, I decided I needed to know more.
My research revealed that there is a festering controversy between those who think that textese is GR8 and those who believe it represents a horrible apocalypse of the English language.
Detractors claim that the acronyms are lazy and annoying, and that young people use them to cut corners. This is scary, and it gave me a great idea.
What if I, too, started using textese to cut corners? Think of the time I would save.
The more I read, the more I was convinced that textese is for me. Besides, who has time to read complete words these days?
UDM
I told myself, “UDM” (you the man), and I decided to start using textese as much as possible.
Soon, I discovered that there are plenty of existing acronyms that are useful for life in the Virgin Islands, such as ADIP (another day in paradise).
Others seem tailor-made for journalists: RTA (read the article); 511 (too much information); and ACORN (a completely obsessive, really nutty person).
I also found an abbreviation that is perfect for reporting on government capital projects: ONNA (oh no, not again).
Then there was one for education articles: TANSTAAFL (there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch).
And when reporting on the territory’s finances, what says it better than TAF (that’s all, folks)?
Still, I wanted more. Thus was born VIT (Virgin Islands Textese).
My primary motivation in inventing this language is to make my job easier. But I don’t mind sharing it with others, especially if they help me build on it.
I envision a future where The BVI Beacon will be rebranded as D VIT BCN.
Can you imagine anything more 1DRFL? I can’t. So here’s my starter list.
A VIT primer
• STR8 THRU = The new traffic lights don’t apply to me, pal.
• H20 🙁 = I can’t make it this evening because it is impossible for me to leave my house in the rain.
• H2O 🙂 = It’s raining; therefore, I’ll be joining hundreds of other residents in taking the day off from work.
• []*[] = Fist-bump greeting.
• F101 = Island fever.
• POLI-DRY = Thanks to politics, water has been shut off around Tortola.
• SITIRT = Stuck in traffic in Road Town
• WRK BRELLA = Bring your umbrella to work: The Central Administration Building roof is leaking again.
• : ) = Festival season
• TAKE BUS = Do something impossible.
• ROOSTR –> X! = Death to the wild rooster crowing outside my window at 3 a.m.!
• GM/GA/GN = Good morning/afternoon/night
• IR8 CAB = Belligerent taxi driver on the road.
• WT = Wasted tourist.
• SNT = Semi-naked tourist.
• LT = Lost tourist.
• X ON D8 = The territory is so small that I ran into my ex during a date with another person.
• PT-E: Patty.
• RT POO = Road Town smells like a toilet.
• BRGLD! = I’ve been burgled!
• RD BOMB = The road looks like a bomb exploded on it; choose another route.
• FN-G: Fungi music
• GOV W8 = Waiting in a slow-moving government department: unavailable for the rest of the day and maybe tomorrow.
• 4GET? = Want to forget our troubles by going to the beach for the day and remembering how great it is to live in paradise?
Other suggestions are welcome. Please e-mail them to frogers@bvibeacon.com. TUVM (thank you very much).