As part of government’s ongoing efforts to diversify the economy, contractors will be hired to demolish and rebuild the same section of the Sir Francis Drake Highway every week for the next decade, leaders announced yesterday.
Officials have high hopes that the project will soon become a third economic pillar, easing the territory’s reliance on financial services and tourism.
“I have no doubt that repeatedly digging up and resurfacing the road in front of the Festival Village Grounds is the route to prosperity for the Virgin Islands,” Communications and Works Minister Mark Vanterpool said during a lavish ceremony at the site yesterday. “Through this project, we’ll ensure that no contractor is left behind and that all of our young people are employed.”
Election
The initiative was conceived shortly before the snap election in June, when the government resurfaced the road only to dig it up again almost immediately for sewerage works.
“There was a practical reason for it at that time,” Mr. Vanterpool explained during the ceremony. “We needed to lay pipes, and we hadn’t planned ahead.”
But leaders quickly realised that the roadwork was a “win-win” for everyone.
“The contractors were really happy, so we decided to let them do the job all over again,” the minister explained. “And then other contractors came to us, and we couldn’t turn them away right before an election.”
Soon, leaders understood that continuing the project indefinitely would allow them to stimulate the economy by handing out petty contracts like candy.
“We’ve given out dozens of them already, and we plan to continue,” the minister said.
Because the project doesn’t require a high level of technical skill, it is manageable by a wide range of workers in the territory.
“This is not rocket science,” Mr. Vanterpool explained. “An 8-year-old could get one of these contracts — and maybe one will!”
Happy workers
During the ceremony, contractors praised the initiative.
“Successive governments have always been kind enough to break major projects into multiple petty contracts for us, but in the past someone usually expected the work to get done correctly in a timely manner,” explained a heavy equipment owner. “This focus on success was extremely stressful.”
The new project, he explained, is much more flexible.
“Basically, we just have to go in and tear up the road any way we can,” he said. “You can do it with a bulldozer if you’ve got one, or you can do it with pickaxes and a team of a dozen men.”
The project’s resurfacing component is not difficult either, since the job has to last only until the next contractor comes to dig it up again the following week.
Besides the main roadwork, the project will also lead to “spin-off contracts,” leaders said.
For example, government is requiring a separate environmental impact assessment for each week of work.
“I’m hiring ten new people just to keep up,” said an environmental consultant who attended the ceremony. “And I expect to double in size again next month.”
Meanwhile, new businesses are expected to spring up in the area to cater to the influx workers who will be employed on the site 365 days a year.
“We envision new restaurants, housing and retail stores,” said the minister, who has termed his new economic philosophy “Vanterpoolnomics.” “Apartments will fill up overnight as part of a trickledown effect that will benefit everyone.”
Speed bumps
Besides stimulating the economy, the initiative will also lead to safer streets, officials said.
“Drivers frequently speed on the Sir Francis Drake Highway, and our police don’t have radar detectors,” Mr. Vanterpool explained. “From now on, the ongoing work will serve as an extended speed bump.”
Drivers, too, praised the initiative.
“When the roads are in good shape, driving is really boring,” said a Road Town man. “I prefer to have a challenge to keep me on my toes.”
A scooter rider agreed.
“I came around a corner there yesterday and caught some serious air when I hit a bump!” she said. “It was awesome!”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
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