Where’s Donaldo?
In the months leading up to November’s United States presidential election, a Beaconite who frequently travels to St. Thomas would always look at the photograph of then President Barack Obama hanging in the island’s Customs checkpoint in Charlotte Amalie, and think of how surreal it would be to have Donald J. Trump staring back at him instead.
So when a Beaconite travelled there over Easter weekend, that was one of the aspects of the trip he was looking forward to. However, when he arrived from Tortola, he found that while officials had removed the photo of Mr. Obama, they have yet to replace it with one of Mr. Trump. The Beaconite isn’t sure whether this is some sort of political statement by the US Virgin Islands, or if replacing the photo is one of the last items in Mr. Trump’s already prolonged transition to power.
Lionfish
Since a Beaconite arrived in the territory two years ago, she’s heard plenty of people comment on the horrors of lionfish. The invasive species apparently has a ravenous appetite and no local predators, and has thus become a serious threat to other species.
This weekend, she heard a resident say that if all restaurants would replace their conch fritters with lionfish fritters, the problem would be solved. Given that lionfish have venomous spines, the Beaconite didn’t think this sounded like a very good idea. However, after looking it up online, it appears that lionfish fritters are popular in other Caribbean spots, so maybe more local restaurants should give it a try? However, the Beaconite hopes that all chefs will pay close attention when removing the spines.
Important research
One year ago, a Beaconite conducted an original experiment while covering a legislative session of the House of Assembly: In one random minute, he counted how many times lawmakers used the term “Madam Speaker.” Parliamentary procedure requires legislators to address their comments to the current Speaker of the House, in this case Ingrid Moses-Scatliffe. However, the Beaconite — and doubtlessly everyone else who has covered HOA — learned early on that lawmakers often use the honorific as a filler word to transition between thoughts, not unlike “um” or “so.” Last year, the Beaconite tallied 10 “Madam Speaker” references in one random minute, for an average of one “Madam Speaker” every six seconds. This year, the Beaconite decided to select three separate minutes at random, to expand his scientific data set on this cutting-edge subject. His results: During the first randomly selected minute, there were eight “Madam Speaker” references; during the second, there were four; and during the last, there were a shocking zero. So for you non-mathematicians out there, that makes 12 “Madam Speaker” references over 180 seconds, for an average of one every 15 seconds. Combine those numbers with the Beaconite’s 2016 data set, and you get an average of one “Madam Speaker” every 10.090909 seconds. Truly wondrous results. Don’t worry: This Beaconite plans to re-update you in 2018 with an even larger sample size, as he slowly crawls closer to the “Madam Speaker” mean absolute deviation. For science!
Park issues
Last week, a Beaconite wrote a Reporter’s Notebook item praising the Queen Elizabeth II Park, where he jogs often. A reader, however, called to point out that everything is not perfect at the facility. During her own recent visits, she said, she found the bathrooms to be locked and noticed dead palm leaves that needed to be cleaned up. The Beaconite stands by his overall positive assessment of the park, but he hopes that government will address these issues soon — particularly by finding a way to keep the bathroom open throughout the day.
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