After installing enormous speakers in his car, an otherwise unassuming Road Town man has stolen the hearts of the territory’s single women, leaving other males high and dry.
Overton Princely, 26, knew he would get attention when he installed 40-inch subwoofers in his 1992 Hyundai Excel in November.
But he didn’t realise how much.
“It’s been wild,” he said. “The ladies are suddenly crazy about me!”
Shortly after installing the speakers, he drove through Road Town, booming obscene music at 130 decibels.
“I remember it like it was yesterday,” he said. “I was blasting Beenie Man and this gorgeous lady came outside and flagged me down. I thought she was going to complain, but she just opened the door and climbed in.”
This occurrence has become commonplace — even though, by his own admission, he “never had much luck with the ladies” in the past.
At 5 feet, 4 inches and 120 pounds, he explained, he always has been considered a “scrawny weakling.” Moreover, he is unemployed and has acne.
“I don’t really have much of a personality, either,” he confided.
But none of that seems to matter once he cranks up his subwoofers.
“All of a sudden, I’m the man,” he said. “It’s great.”
Loudest in territory
Though thumping bass is nothing new in the Virgin Islands, Ms. Princely’s car is now the loudest in the territory — a superlative that he achieved by replacing his backseat and passenger seat with speakers.
This means that his many girlfriends have to sit on the floor.
“They squeeze in and sort of lean back on a woofer,” he said. “But they don’t care: Women love to feel their eardrums rupture.”
Asked how he talks to his girlfriends over the loud music, he replied, “What?”
Asked the question several more times at louder and louder volumes, he eventually understood, and explained that his “speakers do all the talking.”
“I went on five dates on Saturday, and I never had to say a word,” he said. “We just drove around listening to dancehall. That is, we drove around until my Hyundai broke down on Main Street. Then we just parked and listened to dancehall.”
Though he spent his life savings on his sound system — he estimates he has invested more than $25,000 in the $2,000 car — the expenditure was well worth it, he said.
“I don’t have to take women out to dinner or anything,” he said. “Everything’s free.”
Stealing the women
A 23-year-old waitress said she rode in Mr. Princely’s car shortly after he installed the new sound system.
“I’m dying to do it again,” she said. “I’d never even seen Overton, but as soon as I heard his car in the distance I fell in love with him.”
At the time, he was playing Miley Cyrus’ hit “Wrecking Ball.”
“I ran outside and he let me ride for about 15 minutes,” she said. “Then he asked me to get out so he could pick up another girl. I was on Cloud Nine, even though it was after midnight and I had to walk home alone.”
The ride left her mostly deaf in one ear, but she counts herself lucky to have spent so much time with the young man.
“I’ll always remember him,” she said, adding that she often dreams of his return. “I know it probably won’t happen, but it would just be so awesome if it did.”
Unfortunately for single men in the territory, many other VI women feel the same way.
“Even the girls who don’t date Overton are so obsessed by his sound system that they won’t go out with anyone else,” complained a Road Town attorney who hasn’t had a date in several weeks. “It’s just ridiculous.”
The attorney believes that Mr. Princely lives in his car — an accusation that Mr. Princely declined to confirm or deny.
“There will always haters,” he said. “But I’ll keep driving as long as the ladies pay for my gas. And the ladies do love to pay for my gas.”
Disclaimer: Dateline: Paradise is a column and occasionally contains satirical “news” articles that are entirely fictional.
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